One More Time YunJae version
by Koharu-chan
Summary: He was being rejected. He had expected Yunho not to feel the same way, but this forthright way of saying it swayed him a bit. It stung. YunJae


**Title: **One More Time

**Author: **Koharu_chan

**Pairing:** Yunjae

**Length: **One-Shot (2,856 words)

**Genre: **Angst, Romance, Fluff (forgive me! Hahaha)

**Rating:** PG to PG-13

**Summary: **He was being rejected. He had expected Yunho not to feel the same way, but this forthright way of saying it swayed him a bit. It stung.

One More Time

It won't hurt to feel it again.

Sunlight left everything vivid and vulnerable, not to mention that it was giving off an 'extra shine' that moment.The glare off the whites of many birds' feathers hurt his eyes. He couldn't look at them for long. When the birds took off, Jaejoong could barely follow their winged bodies as they flew into the sun. He looked away and stepped back further into the shade a lone tree provided. Students sat in circles, under shades. Some of them studied intensely and the rest grew loud with lively chatter as they saw a cute puppy strutting near them, its owner just a meter away from it. Somewhere close, he knew there was a hive of bees.

He felt he was a smudge of ink that stained a postcard scene.

Jaejoong watched the play of light on the pavement and reached his hands out so it washed over his skin. He bent his fingers as if to catch it, and predictably, his fingers slipped right through the rays. He allowed a small, sad smile form upon his lips.

_What happens now?_

He wished it would rain just so it would suit what he was feeling at that moment. At the same time that he remembered he hadn't brought an umbrella with him, he also realized that he was in a park near a school, giving him an explanation why there were mostly students in the square.

"_You do know that it wouldn't work out either way."_

A stray tear fell on the right side of his pale cheeks and he quickly wiped it with his sleeve. "Damn you, leader-sshi." he mumbled. _Damn you for being so wonderful._

Sighing, Jaejoong reached inside his pocket to draw out a folded beanie and sunglasses (he wasn't sure how the sunglasses fitted there). He put them on quickly so as not to attract attention from the crowd—God knows how _aggressive _high school students could be when it comes to the legendary Dong Bang Shin Ki. He loved the fans dearly—heck, they wouldn't be Dong Bang Shin Ki if it weren't for the fans—but he didn't want the attention right now. He didn't want them seeing him in his current state.

His three dongsaengs would most probably be in their shared apartment by now. Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin were the only ones that had an early schedule for an interview in a talk show, leaving the apartment to only him and Yunho. He knew it was one of the rare breaks he could get, so Jaejoong didn't really mind if he was left alone with the ever-so-responsible leader-sshi. Waking up late a while ago with a smile upon his lips, he thought that nothing could go wrong in this day.

But he thought wrong.

Jaejoong then shook his head as if to get rid of the thoughts and the memories of the event that happened a while ago. He sat on the grass under the tree and he thanked God once again that the tree had lots of leaves that were able to block most of the hot sunrays. His mind was ready for all the random ramblings he was about to make about the scenery in the park but then a loud "Sweet Dreams" ring tone interrupted his trail of thoughts. He then realized that it came from his cellphone and that someone was calling him.

He fished out the cellphone from his pocket and flipped it. "Hello?" he answered softly, mentally punching himself for not looking at the caller ID first.

"Hyung-ah. Where are you?" It was Yoochun.

Jaejoong could hear hushed whispers (most probably Junsu and Changmin) in the background and he figured that Yoochun put the cellphone in loudspeaker mode. He let out a small laugh. "Somewhere. But why'd you call? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing's wrong. It's just that…" Yoochun trailed off. There was a brief silence then Jaejoong heard him muttering, "What should I ask him first?"

"Ask him if he's alright." Junsu whispered quietly.

"Ask him to cook food for us!" Changmin almost screamed.

"Shh! He could hear you, you know." Yoochun whispered back. Junsu's heated retort was inaudible though.

Ah, the ever cute dongsaengs of his.

Jaejoong laughed. Even if he didn't feel like being happy, his dongsaengs never failed even once to make him smile. "You guys don't have to whisper. I could clearly hear all of you." He said, whispering too as if to mock them.

"Ah. Sorry hyung. But we were just worried about you." Junsu then explained. "We thought you've been kidnapped by crazy stalkers or something."

"You know that wouldn't happen. I'm not _that_ weak."

"But where are you, exactly?" Yoochun asked.

"I…don't really know that name of the park, but I know I'm not that far from the apartment." The lead singer heard _oohs_ from the three of them and he wondered what they were _ooh-ing_ for. Suddenly, something inside him wanted to ask them where Yunho was, but he hesitated. He didn't know why.

As if reading his hyung's mind, Changmin got hold of the phone and spoke to him. "Ah! Before _we_ forget," Changmin emphasized the word 'we' that made the other two snort, "Yunho-hyung is currently looking for you."

"…what?"

He suddenly heard consecutive beeping sounds. He heard Junsu's squeak and Yoochun's gasp. Changmin gasped too before speaking up again.

"I said—ah! Hyung! The battery's almost drained—aargh Yoochun-hyung, why the hell didn't you charge this—" The line was then cut off.

Sighing, Jaejoong let his hand that was holding his cellphone fell limply to his side. _Does he even want to find me, after what happened a while ago? _He looked around once again at his surroundings. No sign of Yunho. Most of the students were also gone and the park was nearly empty, so he decided to take off his sunglasses and beanie. Praying that Yunho wouldn't find him, he leaned back on the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes. He needed some rest. He needed time to think and sort out his feelings. He needed space. He needed… He didn't want to know.

"_You know it's impossible."_

"Fuck." Jaejoong muttered. He ran a hand through his hair, assuring himself that no one could tell the difference from before to now. People should see him as the gentle Jaejoong, not the _weak and delicate _Jaejoong. "Fuck it. It's you who made me like this." He whispered to no one in particular.

"Who made you like that?"

Jaejoong instantly opened his eyes and they widened at the sight of Yunho who was looking like a god with the sunlight shining upon him. He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly remembering the event that happened a while ago, he promptly closed it.

"I didn't know I'd find you here. It surprised me a little that you would be in a 'crowd-prone' area like this." Yunho was a little out of breath. He was probably running a while ago.

Jaejoong lowered his eyes, not daring to look at Yunho. _Sorry._

Yunho smiled a little and walked towards him. "Let's go back. Our dongsaengs are hungry." He offered his hand to the older boy in front of him.

Jaejoong shook his head, unaware of the hand he loves and adores.

Feeling helpless, Yunho just sat beside him and stared afar. He let out a deep sigh as if he had trouble breathing and he didn't say anything for a while. "I don't know what to say to you, Jaejoong-ah." After he heard some birds chirping, he coughed meaningfully and continued. "I was surprised."

_I was surprised too. _"Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'm pretty obvious." Jaejoong thought it was weird that he was suddenly talkative, when just a while ago he didn't want to open his mouth at all.

"Sorry."

A snort. "I should be the one saying that."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. Stop saying that."

"I'm sorry."

The raven-haired youth felt it was useless to try to stop Yunho from apologizing to him, but he needed him to stop nonetheless—for his own sake. _God, please spare me from his cuteness._

"Yunho-ah, please stop that." Jaejoong whispered though he still didn't look at the handsome face he adored for so many years. So many years of denying, hiding, and treasuring—oh, it hurt—and Yunho didn't even know a single thing about what Jaejoong felt for him. "It's not your fault. It was me. I was…too aggressive."

"I really don't know what to say. I've never been in this situation before." Yunho mumbled.

Jaejoong blinked. He had stumped Yunho? Certainly that was impossible. He finally had the courage to look up at Yunho and his eyes widened in surprise when he did. Yunho's eyes had an unexplainable sadness in them and his young features were washed with concern and…pain? From what? Jaejoong watched as Yunho fiddled with one of the small fallen branches from the tree. _Just like a while ago, he was also fiddling with something—before I did _that_ to him._

"…You know I'm a man of principles and certainly it's impossible for me to be with another guy—"

Ouch. That had stung.

"—even though I want to, I still—"

"Okay, I understand, Yunho-ah." Jaejoong interrupted, feeling that he couldn't handle more of the pain he was experiencing at that very moment. "It was wrong of me and I'm sorry." He was being rejected. He had expected Yunho not to feel the same way, but this forthright way of saying it swayed him a bit. It stung. Fuck…he wanted nothing more but to curl up into a ball and cry his eyes out.

"Jaejoong-ah..." Large hands covered his.

_Even though he wants to. What does it mean? _The tears began to fall from his cheeks. Yunho's voice was a bit hoarse and raspy, and it was very similar to the voice Jaejoong heard from him a while ago. He felt a sense of déjà vu and then memories of what happened earlier came rushing back to his mind.

"_Yunho-ah, I need to speak to you," Jaejoong's voice was gripped with tension, and it caught his attention immediately. He was standing at the doorway of Yunho's workroom and he slowly walked inside to get near to where Yunho was. Yunho followed him with his eyes._

"_Something wrong, Jae?" he asked, his voice a bit hoarse and raspy but still so tender, so comforting. He was probably recording a song he just made. He was fiddling with the cord of the mouse that was connected to the computer while Jaejoong watched him intently._

"_Yunho-ah," Jaejoong started, but then he stopped, trying to breathe. His voice was tight, and he was fumbling at the last minute for words. It was now or never. "Yunho, I...I..." He shook his head slightly, giving up, then just did it._

_He leaned forward; breath caught in his throat and just kissed Yunho, desperately trying to tell him everything that he had felt for so long, since he had met the leader-sshi, in one fell swoop._

_And he did fall. In Yunho's surprised efforts to get away from Jaejoong, he tipped over the edge of the seat he was sitting on, reached for something to hold on, but unfortunately, he grabbed the stack of CDs and DVDs that were beside him and it scattered all over the ground. Yunho landed with a crash, Jaejoong on top of him. The disconnected mouse also fell, and it made a noise._

_The lead singer scrambled off, red-faced and ashamed. "Yunho-ah! Are you all-"And then he froze._

_The way Yunho was looking at him, a mixture of horror and shock, brownish-black hair falling over his face like the hair of a sacred being. He looked as if… Jaejoong had violated him… desecrated the sacred temple that was his lips._

"_You can't just tell me I meant nothing to you!" Jaejoong whispered roughly, his voice cracking._

_Dark eyes regarded him quietly, the control reclaimed as quickly as it had been lost. "You know it's impossible…" Yunho said, his voice soft, completely drowning any ray of hope Jaejoong had had with reality._

_Jaejoong simply stood and burst out the door, trying to run so far away that Yunho would forget he had hurt him so badly, not only his body, but his faith and trust in him—and their 'friendship'. He hid himself down by a bridge near a park and had cried and cried. Then… the sky… the tree…_

Yunho probably saw and felt the tears trickling down on Jaejoong's cheek, as he reached out and wiped them with his two thumbs. He used his hands to cup the lead singer's face to make him look up at him. Jaejoong only continued to cry, but Yunho didn't give up. He swiped at the stray tear that threatened to fall from Jaejoong's right eye. "Jaejoong-ah, look at me."

Jaejoong did not look at him. He just kept silent as his face flushed, probably from embarrassment of letting Yunho see him like this.

"Look at me, Jae…"

"I'm really sorry, Yun—"

"One more time."

"—ho, I'll leave you alone…_what_?" Jaejoong opened his eyes and looked at Yunho's. "One…" he trailed off.

Yunho's face was serious and Jaejoong almost thought he wasn't the leader-sshi he was talking to a while ago. "Please." He suddenly looked away. "I can't…ever…I don't want to make rash decisions and hurt someone I care about…so maybe, once again…I could understand a bit…?" Yunho knew he wasn't making any sense but he silently hoped Jaejoong understood what he was trying to say to him. It was hard to tell it in a straightforward manner—not to mention that every word he had said made him blush.

"So I'm not surprised this time." he added quietly.

Jaejoong understood exactly what he had meant. Nodding his head once, he let Yunho caress his face with his long and beautiful fingers, trying to memorize the feeling of each on his skin. For a moment, Jaejoong studied him, trying to ascertain whether this was what Yunho truly wanted to happen or not. Yunho smiled slightly and as if it was a cue, the lead singer's eyes fluttered close just as he felt soft lips brush against him.

When both of them pulled back, they smiled at each other shyly as if something enlightened them.

Everything just_ felt perfect._

"Pabo, you're crying again." Yunho's voice was quiet but there was a thick feeling of happiness enveloping it.

"You're the reason behind it." Jaejoong sniffed, laughing a little. "You have tears in your eyes, too."

Yunho caught Jaejoong's free hand and intertwined it with his. He let his other hand brush away the stray bangs covering Jaejoong's forehead. He was aware of the fact that there were still people around the park that could recognize them in such a state, but at that moment he just didn't care at all. He just realized something so important and so…_fulfilling_, to let other things affect what he was feeling at that time. He looked at Jaejoong and the other youth, as though sensing Yunho's stare, looked up at him.

"Yunho-ah."

"Hmm?"

_Are we ready for reality? _Jaejoong's eyes questioned him. Even though he felt such a feeling beyond happiness, he still felt fear. He knew that in the godforsaken country they were at, loving another man brings nothing but pain and hostile attitude from the people around them. He'd heard from the news about the misfortunes of such people just because of love that is known to be 'forbidden' by many—and he didn't want to drag Yunho, a man of principles, in such a harsh reality. Heck, he isn't bound to be in a situation like that. Never.

Suddenly, the lead singer felt Yunho squeeze his hand.

"It would be okay." Yunho assured in a leader-like tone, as if reading Jaejoong's mind. "Everything is still new to me, but…I feel that we will be okay, as long as you're here. With me."

Jaejoong didn't get the chance to reply because Yunho let go of his hand and stood up slowly. He turned to look at the beautiful man in front of him and offered his hand once again to Jaejoong, just like a while ago.

"Let's go back home together."

_Together._

"Yeah." _We are together; everything would be fine as long as he's here with me. _Jaejoong felt slightly elated and this time he took hold of Yunho's hand, standing up with the taller man's help. He started walking and realized that Yunho was still holding his hand tightly. He tried to hold back a wide smile but failed as he walked side by side with their leader.

"I know now." Yunho whispered with a small smile as he looked at Jaejoong. _That I love you._

Jaejoong smiled back. "I've known for a long time."

"How about 'one more time'?" A smirk.

"Aish, you're really…" Jaejoong returned his smirk and leaned forward towards him.

-- The End –

**Author's Notes: **Yay! I'm so glad I finished this one-shot fic. It's my first time writing a Yunjae fanfic, so I hope all of you would forgive me for errors! *bows politely* Should I make a sequel? Hahaha. Hopefully I can make a chaptered fic, but it would only be possible if there would be more school breaks (which is impossible but VIRTUALLY possible, but I can hope) and more Yunjae fanfics to gain inspiration from! Woot!

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this fic of mine. Comments (if there would be) are much appreciated! I love you! *hugs*

Yunjae, HWAITING~!


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